old habits

We’ve seen the detrimental effects of toxic behaviors not only on ourselves but to the ones we love. We break habits because we know we can do better yet sometimes a slip back into the old days feels so good. But how long will it feel good?

As we continuously evolve forward, the thought and trauma of toxicity are sickening. We don’t realize how much damage we cause until we are out of the storm. Do we program our circuits to love the toxicity we create? Clearly.

Why does doing something we shouldn’t do feel so good? Why do we then drown in regret and obsession? The punishment we give ourselves after we stepped back into an old pattern is far worse than the actual pattern itself. How we speak to ourselves ultimately leads us to neurotic behaviors. We obsess with the voice of punishment that when it’s not going off, we think we’ve done something wrong. Let me say that again. When we aren’t experiencing anxiety or nothing seems to be going wrong, we get even more anxious. We have shifted to a gear in the brain that when something terrible isn’t happening, something can’t be right. We, as a tribe, have an extremely hard time believing everything is okay and that we truly deserve to be happy. We are always getting in our own ways, always making shit up, and always subconsciously hoping for something to go wrong.

Try to make yourself be happy for yourself. No matter how hard life gets, you’re still here. It’s not your time to go or you wouldn’t be here. As scary as it gets, as fun as it gets. As ugly as it gets, as pretty as it gets. Splash in the past but blast into the future.

cj