Leaving Colombia like..

I’m sitting in the airport, boarding to a destination that could potentially mark as my last country on my first solo journey. When I look back I see all the times I kept my head up, fought my silent battles, and wept because of the rawness that stands in front of me. Even sitting in the airport right now, I’m holding my tears back because I don’t want people to stare at me. What’s wrong with a cute gringa crying in the airport? Hahah idk. It almost feels like my heart gets ripped out every time I have to say bye to a cozy hostel, a new connection, a wonderful country. Something about me is that I fall in love so easily. I used to not like that part about me because I was constantly getting hurt. But I guess now I must embrace it because damned are the ones who try to feel nothing. I feel in life, we are always striving to move forward, get to the next spot, but the more we yearn for the future, the more we miss our present. All in all, there is nothing else going on other than the present moment. We can’t speed up time to get to the future or rewind and fix the past. I’ve learned while traveling that if I want to show up in my fullest and brightest, presence is the secret. Being present is the secret to a wonderful life people!!!!!! That’s what all the masters declare. But, wisdom is something that can only be learned on our own time, within our own journeys. Sure, knowledge can be passed around but wisdom is something that comes from internal power and often times is hard to teach to others. It almost feels that if I’m not present, I’m wasting my life, falling into the waterfall of worry, desperation, insecurity, and dissatisfaction. I used to get sad in life if the shoes I wanted were sold out or the dress I loved didn’t fit properly. I feel like now my worries consist of trying to beat the most epic adventure that happened the day before where I’m using my senses and feeling the world. As we get older, we stop caring about things that don’t really matter. When I look back on my life being that cutie granny in a chair, I want to close my eyes and be proud of how courageous I was, how bold I was, and how proud I am to be who I am with the path that strung me along perfectly to end the journey with satisfaction. I don’t want to have any regrets, any bad blood, karmic debt, or unfinished business.

There is nothing more important than your journey, your self-love, and your peace. Being in love and at peace with myself is the best destination.