Believing we always need more
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls pushed me to think about my consumption and spending.
I think a lot of our corruption comes from striving for this temporary satisfaction but we are unaware that is it permanently temporary. I say “we” because I am found on the highest degree for contributing to this branch of corruption.
If you know me, you know I love jewelry, dope vacations, $500 perfume, shopping when I have a closet that could supply maybe 10 families. I probably have 20–25 lbs of jewelry; real diamonds, gold, silver, passed down jewelry, and the jewelry I got customized in Israel that could feed a family. I have been raised under the notion that “I can get what I want but under realistic terms.”
Realistic terms?
“Realistic terms” to me means my parents probably won’t gift me a 6k Cartier bracelet for a “special occasion.” But times have changed, money has changed, and striving for the basic necessity is what we feel comfortable doing.
To truly stop and see how much I have made my parents buy me makes me sick to my stomach. This temporary happiness that lasts max a week is the happiness I thought I needed. I buy and buy until I buy again. We are wasting so much shit and destroying the planet. My parents bust their ass just to bring in more money for their children to spend. The gratitude I have for my parents is so unmeasurable.
But, damn I could look at everything around me and see it is all stuff I don’t need. Society looks at social media and the hottest chicks in the world are wearing the coolest, most expensive pieces. So, duh we think we N E E D them…What I need is myself. I need my best friend who is always there for me. I need that chick fully fueled.
In life, we have a lot of fucked up voices within. They will tell us the craziest ideas, thoughts, or opinions. So much external temporary happiness is not what is helping the best friend inside of me to be on a constant slow and steady incline. There’s no rush to be perfect or shove ourselves into this box where we can check off “rich” as a social status.
I wonder who I would be if I did not have what I have. I wonder what it is like not living in a very large home, not receiving money from my parents every week, not having a credit card to spend, not being able to have food to eat 110% of the time, not having my parents pay for college, and most certainly not having the opportunity to study abroad. I sure as hell could picture how painful it would be to get any of those stripped away, but at the same time, I have zero clue. I have no idea, not even remotely, what it would feel like if I didn’t have what I listed above. I can’t even fathom what true hunger feels like.
Lucky is an understatement. I have gotten to the point where I don’t get high off buying expensive things. I do not even like to buy expensive things anymore. I don’t even like to buy that much anymore. A few cool pieces that strike me here and there are always welcome. I am totally good with a pair of 10$ jeans from a thrift store. I am always extremely satisfied with wearing the clothes in my closet.
So, I am here to ask the universe to help me, from this point on, to distinguish what I need versus what I think I need. I want to find that permanent ever-lasting happiness within. I want the lion inside to tell me what she needs to be happy. I will full-heartedly be more conscious of my spending.
This is such a radical ride. To infinity and beyond…
Xoxo, Chelsey Grace jacobs #W2W
#CGJDictionary
